date; 20050414
;in white housesim feeling kinda super
sad, cos im out of the trials and cos schools starting like all over again. well not all over again. only FIVE more weeks till the end of school,im counting. yupp
at least i know im not the only one thats like totally stressed out and tired and everything.diane is working sooo hard nowadays, and she does so much work, and well yeah i know shes super stressed so cheerup yeahh.and mie thirdlang is so stressful mabel you hafta help me o u t
h e l p m e;
today was totally whining dayy-- me and steff and lyn and justin were like hanging out and i was whining, lyn was whining, steff was sorta whining but not relly cause shes in silly girl, and justin never whines so yeahh haha.
w h i n e.so YEAH, i dont feel like going to thirdlang AT ALL tomorrow. and ive got so much stupid work to catch up on, school is so stupid and stressful and like yeahh.
i wanna be in primary schl ( well not IN my primary school ) duh. where there were only four subjects which seems so few now, lol
but really im depressed cause i realized i'll never get good at tennis,
or maybe its jus negativity?whatever like who cares right. at least justin didnt get in too--id like kill myself if he did but then again he seems so like carefree about it, he doesnt realise that i had A CHANCE and i blew it i may never getit again sighh.
like ahhh the oc is tonite, the one bright spot in my life [sadly]yupp hahah sad truth isnt it, and its depressing at that.
i feel like im at an all time low cos my tennis is so sucky, and yeahh im never gonna improve or whatever, if last year was a
peak then this year is a
valley am i never gonna get out??
the year started so good, especially newyears. ): yeahh so now its getting worse, but it'll get better , i mean it has too, the surprise party was so good, and now trials which is jus so crap i mean im like on a losing streak which makes me feel THIS bad., losing four matches in a row where last year i lost ONE IN TOTAL and its APRIL NOW. its only april! and FOUR matches in a row, im jus not satisfied with my playing this year.
hmmmmmmmmm yeahh.
stupid work, stupid school, stupid tennis that im retarded in, and i cant even play properly. i mean you'd think i would be improving but NO rite. its like im deproving, and let me tell you; its the
s u c k i e s t
feeling
in
the
world.
crappierthan a n y t h i ng else.
yuppyupp, thats all for today i guess.
<3 and hugs from a quite very dejected rayye.
drops of jupiter;